Snapelina
by pococo
Summary: A potions accident had turned Snape into a girl. If thats not bad, Ron is flirting with him, and Harry even groped him! meant to be a crack fic but... Oneshot


**AN: **This is my first Harry potter story so, uh, sorry if it sucks. Plus I only read once book, I am going to the library soon to get the rest. Anyway, this idea sprouted when me and my sister were discussing what would happen if Snape was a girl. It didn't turn out as expected but.

Plus, sadly, I am American born so I don't understand English terminology that well. If I made any mistake please tell me.

Now onto the story.

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Snapelina

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It was a normal day at Hogwarts. And that, the Potions Master and Professor thought, was what was so wrong. In the last couple years Hogwarts was never normal ever since Potter came to the famous wizarding boarding school. No matter though, he thought to himself once more, he was sure that would change soon. He turned his head to the side slightly, and watched the sleeping form of a young student. He rolled his eyes slightly, before slamming his hands on the table.

"Potter!" He sneered, scaring the poor boy that he jumped up and bumped into the Potion Snape was making. His eyes widened slowly. Oh dear lord, he was not finished with that--

The potion drenched him head to toe as he shivered as he felt changes to his body. First he felt his long, greasy hair (which he was quite proud of) grow even longer as it reached his waist. Then he felt his face change into a more delicate look and.. .and those lumps on his chest!

"POTTER." He screamed, wanting to axe-murder the student in front of him, but his voice hitched as it came out softer then he would of liked. Said student breathed as he looked at him supposedly 30-odd year old Potions Professor.

"Bloody hell!" Harry exclaimed, eyes wide. This could _not_ be Snape after all this was a… "Girl. Snape is a girl…" he mused to himself. Snape looked at him and then down. Oh, those lumps where… Harry looked again, not believing. He went up to Snape and groped his breasts.

"Potter! 40 points from Gryffindor for harassing a professor!" He, or rather she, barked at Harry-- who had started laughing. "What is so funny?!" Harry just continued laughing and when he had calmed down enough.

"You hardly look _old_ enough to be a _professor_!" He then continued laughing. Harry shook his head after a while. And then started laughing again when he saw the others face.

"Quiet!" The other tried to order but it fell on deaf ears. Snape sighed. "What am I going to do..?" He asked, mostly to himself. To his surprise Harry turned to him.

"You can attend classes here until you change back?" Snape sighed once more before nodding. After all what else could he do?

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"So Harry, who is this beautiful girl?" Ron asked his best friend. He gave a flirtatious smile to Snape who rolled her eyes, biting back a remark about him.

"Ah… er. Stephanie uh… Snapelina?" He asked rather then stated. Ron looked at him, still flirting.

"Any relation to our _dear_ Potions Professor?" Again, Snape had to hold back a remark and sneer.

"Not at _all_…" she smiled falsely. Never would he of thought he would be nice to a Weasley. Hell has frozen over at last.

Hermione whacked Ron over the head, scowling. "_Honestly_, leave the poor girl alone!" She reprimanded, before turning to Snape. "Hello, I'm Hermione, Hermione Granger. It is a pleasure to meet you Stephanie." He gave a soft smile, before taking Ron by the ear and started dragging him by the ear muttering about how she need to stop him from doing things like this in the future.

Snape just turned to Harry, who in turn shrugged. They had to get to class. Snape stayed close to Harry, seeing as she was still not used to the whole 'girl' thing. She sighed a little, playing with the edge of the robe Harry had lent him. It felt so wrong to be wearing Gryffindor robes and he shuddered to think what all his old friends would do if the saw him now.

The arrived in there class, Transfiguration, and Snape looked at McGonagall hoping she would not notice the presence of the other. McGonagall just looked at them and shook her head slightly before she went off on a lecture about her chosen subject.

Snape looked at Harry. The other tried really hard didn't he? He reminded him of his mother, of Lily. He shook his head slightly.

Class ended as it signaled lunch. He and Harry walked into the great hall together as everyone started staring at him. He blushed a little, looking down. Damn girl hormones. Suddenly he felt light head as he fell to his knees, clutching at his stomach when he looked up again his eyes locked with the Headmasters that still had that _damn twinkle_ in it and then he noticed. He was male again. And in Gryffindor robes.

_Crap. How to explain _this_ one._

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**An: **Review please!


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